oh MY.....

and trust me, when i said, OH MY, i did not say it in awe in praise of my (supposedly cozy cute and soon-to-be chic and swank, in my head) new apt! instead, the OH MY was directed towards the indescribable mess and decadence that the previous tenant had left for me.

AHHHHHHH

so i picked up my keys this afternoon. first of all, i already dont like the setup of these people's office since the last time i visited them. it is a big room with a walking aisle down the middle; each side of the aisle were 3 or 4 long desks. every single freakin' desk faces the front door. SO! as soon as you walk in the door, you have like no idea where the fuck to go and which person to go to, as they all seem like apt agents of equal ranking. WTF? i hate it! if the person at the first desk is busy, it makes me feel extremely stupid to walk pass all these desks to get to the available agent to answer whatever question(s) i might have that according to me everything should be their fault!

anyways, back to my apt. here were the problems:
1) the fuckin keys they gave me did not work when i got there. i had to call these idiots again, and then they sent two fuckin people over in their gigantic bmw x5 (is it x5?) with keys that worked.

2) the fuckin drug addict that lived here before left a fuckin shitload of schtuff behind. two freakin fans, mail, hangers, boombox, some minor furniture, nasty ass extension cords, and freakin' trinklets he had used to decorate his pot pad. i was extremely angry with ICM properties (yay! lets point some fingers and name some bad people!!)-- this dude had moved out 2 weeks ago, you think as busy as they could be, they *could* have something done after ~2 wks?? then when the freakin ICM idiots were delivering the keys, i was like, what about all this stuff? are you guys gonna throw them out? what the deal?

3) they will schedule a cleaning (better be fuckin professional) apt thursday or friday (does this mean fuckin next week?) to clean the place up. as stated at time i signed my lease, all other works (painting, appliances... etc) will be completed within 30 days of move in. UGH! i understand how this is a big move-in/move-out season. but dude, shouldn't you put me on TOP of your list of priorities???

4) let me describe to you some of the nastiness.
>>>>> the place smells. minor detail, i can correct this soon.
>>>>> the window screens are dusty. someone as polish as basia i could mistaken her skin to be GRAY if i saw her through the fuckin screens.
>>>>> the kitchen sink does not work
>>>>> there had obviously been a minor fire of some kind in the bathroom. along the wall behind the toilet theres this black burn mark. the nasty ass clock above was obviously melted to sad deformity. the toilet should also be replaced.
>>>>> in the bedroom above the closet there is this yellow semi-trasparent patch of GOO with speckles of who-knows-what-the-hell-they-are on it. YUCK!

oh my god, i completely freaked out after i made a list of "problems" and left the place to come home. i nearly cried/died when i got home-- i was like, oh my god, what junk yard am i moving myself into???? that place was shittier after the punk tenant had moved out!? i swear, that person must only get things delivered there and deposited his animals there. i would not be surprised if his electric, gas, and all else were cut off long ago since only dust and mess seem to reside there.

then, after much self hate, panic attack, self cheer, encouragement, and scientific consultation, i decided that ALL is gonna be ok. yeah, no denial, it is gonna be a fuckin' pain in the ASS for me to clean this place up the way i like if i am unsatisfied with their cleaning; it will be a fuckin' pain in the ASS to wait for them to come paint the place, cover up some of the nastiness; it will be a fuckin pain in the ASS to make the bathroom nice....

BUT i can do it. after the work is done, i really do think this place will be cute. might even be shi shi frou frou. when i need to be efficient, i will be. this is stupid work, but i can do it- i can make it NICE!

ok, so, everything is gonna be just fine, right? the place will be livable in ~ 2wks? yes?? OK! ;)

ok, i better go get ready to entertain pricess basia tonight.