what kinda tea do ch'all have?

i meant to finish and post this blog this morning before class, but i ran out of time, so here we go.

it amuses me how my daily musings and such always come from starbucks.

i just remembered this sad incident as i was driving to uic this morning. last night at work-- as i was already getting tired/sleepy, with dashing dr. phil no where in sight, these women came up to my register and wanted to order tea. the problem with starbucks (at least clearly present at my starbucks) is that we dont have a menu board that lists all the different types of hot teas that we offer: awake, earl gray, zen, china green tips, passion, calm, chai, decaf chai, refresh, lotus and wild sweet orange. one of them quickly decided that she will have a white chocolate mocha and the other woman, who obviously does not frequent coffee or tea houses (not that there is fault in that or whatever, though my judgement could be biased) proceeded to play a game of teas for the next 15 mintues.

see, i like to think that most of the time i try to be a cute, smiley, friendly barista, answering questions and suggesting beverages. obviously worked on andy. ;) this woman was so ridiculously confusing and confused in her own head, i did not know whether to laugh or scream.

{christine greets woman1 and helps her decide on a white chocolate mocha}
woman2: what kinda tea do ch'all have?
chris: well, we have all different kinds. are you looking for something black, something green, or herbal? something with caffeine or without?
woman2: i like teas with lots of flavors and spices!
chris: {thinking- real tea drinkers dont like the additive flavors. amateurs!} well, the chai tea, the brown bag, has an interesting blend of indian spices- has a very distinct flavor.
woman2: whats that???
chris: {attempting to repeat herself in other words}
woman2: do you have lemon?
chris: no, we do not have lemon, but we do have a wild sweet orange tea and that is the closest we have come to citrusy flavors.
woman2: you have citrus?
chris: it is an orange tea with slight sweet fragrance, and yeah i guess it is kind of citrusy.
woman2: do you have sunset citrus?
chris: {who?} what? sunset citrus? {hello? thats probably made by bigellow or something, not tazo!}
woman2: do you have sunset citrus, like something citrusy?
chris: {didnt i already explain to you our wild sweet orange?} no, we do not have a sunset citrus; our closest one is probably the wild sweet orange...
woman2: OOOh, you have orange spices? i love spices!
chris: {is english still spoken in chicago?} um.. no, its just a sweet orange, it is not spicey. it is still pretty good, though. {trying to show her the box}
woman2: nononononono, thats gonna be too sweet! you dont have orange spices?
chris: no...
woman2: apple spices??
chris: no...
woman2: cinnamon apple??
chris: no...
woman2: cinnamon spices??
chris: no... we can, however, add cinnamon flavored syrup to your tea!
woman2: whats that red one right there?
chris: thats our awake tea, just a standard black tea. it doesnt have any flavors.

{dear jamie, who was on the register next to me, was trying to contain himself from bursting into severe laughter}

jamie: what kinda tea are you looking for, ma'am?
woman2: something with flavors.
jamie: blah blah blah blah... how about the refresh tea, its mint.
woman2: {hesitating...} hmmm, ok.
chris: you want the mint tea? ok, what size cup would you like?
woman2: {confused...}
jamie: what size glass would you for your tea, tall/grande/venti?
woman1: she wants the "grand" one.
chris: sure, no problem.
woman2: {to woman1} i want something with orange spices.
woman1: well, they have that wild sweet orange with orange flavors and sweetness or something.. blah blah blah.
woman2: OOOh, thats what i want! {as chris brings her the grande one-bag refresh tea.}
chris: thatswas what i was mentioning to you earlier, the wild sweet orange... but you thought that it might be too sweet...
woman1: thats fine, she doesnt know what she wants. the mint is fine.
chris: {pouting as she pretends to seem concerned, thinking, well, it's better be fine!} are you sure?
woman1 and woman2: yeah!
woman2: where is the sugar?
chris: the creme and sugar are on the condiment bar right behind you guys. you can add as much as you need to.

{woman1 and woman2 walk away with their drinks}
{chris becomes overwhelmed by what had just happend, while trying to contain her own laughter as well as embarrassment, as jamie tries to contain his own amusement with surly looks and busy barista motions...}

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA.